Tuesday, February 21, 2012

We are voting for a president! Not a Pope! Beware of Rick Santorum...

This bible thumping, Satan bashing, abstinence supporting, homo hating, pre-Enlightenment theocratic, marriage defending, Islamophobic, homophobic, blackophobic, atheistophobic, Christian extremist will surely bring about the destruction of America!

Expect the following to happen if Santorum becomes president!!!:

1) MANDATORY church attendance every Sunday morning for every American punishable by jailtime. (Saturday evening mass also excepted. Muslim mosque attendance illegal.)
2) Government funded book burnings every week. ALL books except the Bible will be banned and destroyed within first term!
3) after book burnings will be people burnings for any heretics or non believers. Muslims and atheists will go first.
4) All public schools will drop current curriculum and replace it with mandatory Bible verse reading! (your children will be forced to convert too )
5) Constitution will be summarily abolished and replaced with ten commandments!
6) all forms of birth control will be banned! offense for using will be punishable by ducking stool or stocks
7) Mitt Romney will be banished to San Francisco with other heathen Mormons and sinners.
8) All advances in technology, medicine, and education will be halted
9) mandatory for every American home to have a picture of Santorum and Jesus side by side. (any other photos of public figures illegal)
10) Women will no longer have the right under the law to destroy their unborn children! all babies forced to be born!
11) Students in elementray school will be prohibited from learning how to use condoms and instead taught abstinence and given christian purity rings!!
12) all reference to the words "Satan", "cocaine", and "Obama" will be illegal
13) Mandatory watching of original Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith every Tuesday night

i will think of more later. Don't vote for Santorum!!!!!!

4 comments:

Adrienne said...

Hack - I have seen conservative sites claiming that if we vote for Santorum the USA will be ruled from Rome and the Pope will be pulling his strings. How weird is that?????

Fuzzy Slippers said...

omg this is hilarious!! I'm still giggling. Thanks, Hack. I really needed a good giggle, too.

Chuck said...

Our forefathers fought a revolution so that no baby would ever suffer the indignity of being born against it's mother's will.

Fredd said...

Hack:

Other than Santorum being a 'bible thumping, Satan bashing, abstinence supporting, homo hating, pre-Enlightenment theocratic, marriage defending, Islamophobic, homophobic, blackophobic, atheistophobic, Christian extremist,' I hear he's a pretty nice guy....