Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Ant and the Grasshopper: The Modern Version

My dad passed this along to me yesterday and I thought some of you might like it.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

Two Different Versions. Two Different Morals.

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Ant Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,which as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

5 comments:

subrosa said...

Be careful how you vote? What choice do we have really? Smaller parties are consumed.

I've added you to my reader.

TRUTH 101 said...

You know Hack, if all your well to do friends had not outsourced millions of jobs to Indonesia the grasshopper would have been able to find ajob that could have supported him. Millions more Americans would be paying more taxes to support our Nation so that the rich wouldn't have to bear this awful burden you describe.

Poor rich people. They're so abused they have to moderate comments.

Hack said...

TRUTH 101: I make less than 30,000 a year. And I will not bitch about rich people having more money than me. Rich people deserve their wealth, aside from the Paris Hilton types, and it is not mine nor your place to say how they should invest that. Enough of the collectivist class warfare bullcrap. Bottom line is poor people made decisions that made them poor and rich people made decisions that made them rich. That's how a capitalist system works.

Hack said...

That said, I do understand your point- ala "Crony Capitalism". But a mass indictment of all top income earners because of the questionable acts of a few is naive in my opinion.

Tommy said...

Why are we not cutting defense spending? That is obviously where we need to trim, we have a fleet of aircraft that no one can even come close to touching. Time to tone it down just a bit.