Sunday, June 12, 2011

5 Reasons Why I Loved Seeing the Miami Heat Lose to the Dallas Mavericks

The Dallas Mavericks have finally put the nail in the coffin of the Miami Heat. Good riddance you losers!

This was a battle of good vs. evil and good prevailed. The Germanic blood in Dirk Nowitzki surfaced, boiled over, and the barbarian rose up to slay the evil three headed dragon of evil!

5 reasons why I was happy ecstatic to see the Miami Heat lose to the Dallas Mavericks:

1) Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd
How can you not root for them? The two leaders of the Mavericks and both veterans of the NBA, both have exhibited nothing but class in a league dominated by the vulgarity and stupidity of ghetto thugs during their careers thus far and neither had a championship under their belt. I can't help but root for two white guys with no tattoos against 3 arrogant ghetto thugs who cry, leave the game if they get a bruise, and make fun of their opponent for being sick.

2) LeBron James and "The Decision"
I remember last year when "The King" decided to leave Cleveland for Miami in such an arrogant and disturbing manner that I vowed I would root against him until the day I die. He has made the Miami Heat into the Los Angeles Lakers of the east, a true embodiment of unadulterated evil. Cleveland fans who were spit on by this demon are rejoicing today that "The Queen" failed yet again.

3) The Miami Heat's rigged victory over the Mavericks in 2006
This isn't the first time these two teams have met in the NBA Finals. In 2006, the Heat "beat" Dallas if you will but I remember how it really played out. In a scene reminiscent of the awful Lakers Kings series of 2002, referees were completely and unabashedly biased in terms of officiating, in favor of the Heat of course. For years NBA officiating has been favorable to big stars and big market teams in order to bring in more revenue. 2006 was a disgrace, featuring absolutely awful officiating in which Dwayne "I can't play because I have a hip bruise" Wade was sent to the free throw line a record number of times when he shouldn't have. The sting of 2006's defeat makes this victory five years later over the very same team that much sweeter.

4) JJ Barea
How can you not like this guy (unless you're an illegal immigrant gang member from LA who cried when he picked the Lakers apart earlier this postseason)? He is a 5'8" tall bearded white guy who makes stars like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Kevin Durant look foolish on the court. He's tough, aggressive, and tenacious. He doesn't even look like a basketball player. All the more reason to root for him and the Mavericks.

5) Miami Heat fans and the Big 3 Show 
Before the season even started back in October, the Miami Heat staged a massive glitz and glamour rally of vain worship to welcome Lebron James and Chris Bosh to Miami, along with comrade crybaby Dwayne Wade. Heat fans bowed down before their presence while "The Big 3" put on a display of arrogance not seen since the days of King Nebuchadnezzar in ancient Babylon. Miami Heat fans welcomed the Demon with open arms. Not only that, but Miami sports fans, and Heat fans specifically, have been known for being weak fair weather fans. Probably because most of them are from Cuba.

Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks. Their defeat of the Miami Heat should be an inspiration to basketball and non basketball fans alike.


Anonymous said...

Well said. Seems the big guy's forgotten his roots. -From a former Akronite -- LBJ's hometown.

Anonymous said...

Haters...haters..its sadd..if lebron didn't wanna stay its because Miami had something cleavland doesn't didn't,dont hate on the guy I mean really...if u were playing a game u wouldn't pick bad players to be on ur team..thats stupid..ud pick the best players cause u would want to win...who likes to lose?(on t.v)...i mean keep talking trash..even though they didn't win playoffs they made it much farther than cleavland.therefore him taking his talents to Miami was a good move